7 Interesting Facts of Struggling With Being A Dad
It may not be obvious on the surface. However, struggling with being a dad in the modern day has become more prevalent. It has to be more challenging than ever to be a working dad nowadays.
The modern dad now is trapped in a war zone between old school traditional bosses and outdated thinking of the contribution from a dad. Adding on to the unnecessary comparison between the contribution of mums and dads to parenting only makes things worst. The following are 7 interesting facts about struggling dads.
Work long hours with less job security
With the advancement of technology, you are working the same amount of hours or even longer hours if compared against the previous generation. In the past, communication modes like mail take longer to reach your customer and your boss are not hot on your heels 24/7.
However, with social chats like WhatsApp and usage of emails, you are expected to be on the ball even if it is after working hours.
The Millenial working generations now are suffering burn out. There is less disposable income, increasing student debt and less job security. You are expected to work harder than ever to secure your job and outperform your peers. This technically eats into your family time with your children.
Consequently, you may find it tough to spend quality time even when you are physical with them due to work distractions and fatigue.
More time spend on child compared to the past
According to the pew research centre in 2016, dads spend an average of eight hours a week on childcare. This is about triple the time provided by dads in 1965. Dads also put in roughly 10 hours a week on household chores in 2016 in contrast to 4 hours in 1965.
This shows that dads now are sharing a bigger responsibility in parenting compared to the past. However, dads now are still unappreciated by these efforts. The old culture stereotypes always point towards mums contributing more than dads like in the past.
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Work and family responsibilities balance
This is quite obvious in terms of the difference between parental and maternity leaves at the workplace. Mums are still being seen as the primary caregiver for the kids. In contrast, dads are expected to just spend a shorter time frame with the kids before focusing more on their career. It is more challenging for fathers to build bonding with their child from small.
The baby bonding with the mum already started when he/she is in the womb. The baby bonding with dad can only take place when they are born to this world.
Technically, more time is needed for dads to establish a bond with their child. Unfortunately, most corporate cultures still do not support this as men are still seen as primary income contributor for the family.
First of all, you are encouraged to be more committed to work than to your family. Secondly, explaining this situation to your spouse is tough as it may seem like you are trying to push the responsibilities to her. To sum it up, without support from the workplace and high expectations from your spouse, struggling with being a dad is a norm.
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Dino age workplace and corporate cultures
Most dads can relate the day where you tried to applied parental leave. Your boss rolls his eyes and questioned your commitment to work. This kind of corporate culture behaviour is still widespread as men are not expected to contribute much to parenting.
However, dads now wanted to be more involved with their child. Most are being trapped in a corporate culture that does not support it. This kind of relationship affects the mental wellbeing of the dad which either affects his work productivity or family relationship.
No one calls him a working dad
Everyone is praising and recognising the contribution of a modern working mum. However, a modern working dad seems to be taken for granted in this world.
In fact, there is an endless discussion for mums that have to decide between their career or become a stay at home mum. The fact is the number of stay at home dads is increasing and they are also facing this dilemma.
It is also not surprising to see some dads sacrificing their career as they rank their family no 1 priority. However, in the current society, it may seem normal for mums to sacrifice their career. In contrast, society is much harsher for dads that want to go the same path. They are also branded weak and relying on the spouse for income which may not be entirely true.
Dad also miss their kids
The common assumption is that only moms miss their kids. Contrary to beliefs, dads also miss their kids. And it is not uncommon that parenting plays an important part of their identity. Fatherhood belief has already rapidly changed in this generation. However, dads are still being judged based on the contribution done by previous generation dads.
Hence, it is not surprising to see dads nowadays turning down promotion opportunities to spend more time with their kids. They may also reject higher-paying opportunities that would require them to travel extensively. More dads are now allocating weekends purely for their family while working only on weekdays to strike a fair balance.
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Dads now are also all in
Dads are more committed than ever when they come home from work nowadays. The general judgement that dads do nothing, kick their feet up and leaving the chores to their spouse is completely untrue.
According to families and work institutes, dads spend an average of three hours a day with the kids. These include feeding them, bathing, dressing and playing with them. It is also not uncommon to see dads help them with homework and speak with them about their day on a daily basis.
Summary of Struggling with being a dad
To sum it up, struggling with being a dad is not uncommon and many factors can contribute to it. Hence, you may like to speak to your family or immediate superior to improve your situation. However, if it is not possible, then you may have to engage in external help to improve your situation.
At the end of the day, always maintain a positive mindset about this situation. Children and family are your greatest assets and acts as a primary motivator in your life. Kudos to all dads in the world tackling this challenge heads on a daily basis and the sacrifice is well worth it.
